Say Please, Say Thank You

Author: Donald McCullough

Virtue: Respect

I came across this book not long ago while I was in a bad mood. Not that anything really horrible had happened, it was just that I had seen someone behaving in a way that I thought was less than polite and it left an unpleasant  taste in my mouth. The incident left me with a confused mixture of irritation and distress. The irritation was, of course, caused by the fact that other people don’t behave in the way I want them to. The distress, on the other hand, was due to the harsh realization creeping up my spine that I am not much better.

You see, when it comes to manners I often feel like I’m getting by by the skin of my teeth. Not that I’m intentionally rude, it’s just that half the time I don’t know what’s expected. And I’m willing to bet that more often than not the same goes for other people when they do things that others find offensive.

That was why the title of this book jumped out at me while perusing a used bookstore later that afternoon.  

When I got it home and started reading I quickly found out that Say Please, Say Thank You was meant to be a book, not about etiquette, but about respect. In fact, author Donald McCullough describes himself in the introduction as a social jackass and refers the reader to Emily Post and Judith Martin. But he then goes on to say that without the basic qualities of respect and courtesy there wouldn’t be much point to discussing manners at all.

So that is what this book is about. Respect. Each chapter focuses on some of the fundamental ways that we can show common courtesy to one another like saying please or saying thank you. Many of the points made are things we all should have learned by the age of five but, let’s face it, not all of us did (and of those who did many have forgotten.)

At the heart of this book is the message that communities are build out of small acts of kindness. But beyond being a reminder of how to show courtesy to our fellow human beings it also proved to be delightfully amusing. McCullough has filled this book with stories and anecdotes of his own attempts – and failures – to implement these lessons in his own life. He has also shared a myriad of other examples from throughout history that demonstrate just how powerful the virtue of respect can be.

This book is charming, heart-warming and well worth the read.